I wish you could order shots online.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
