Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
