i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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