Can i not drive my cunt home
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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