do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I think my nap took me to another dimension
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
