You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Come on in and take your pants off
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