I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Randomize
