At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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