i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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