I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
