so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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