its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Randomize
