I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
sex in a hospital.. check
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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