Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
