Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
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