I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
handjob tips. give me some.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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