I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
