My cat gives me a boner
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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