oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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