So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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