Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
