so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
