It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
