bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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