Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
did i just pee glitter
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
