I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
