Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
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