I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
