There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
We need a shit load of segways right now
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
