yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Randomize
