he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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