piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
