he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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