Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
