Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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