We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
