It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Randomize
