Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
