I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
