Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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