I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
