What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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