# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
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