bring money and cleavage
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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