he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
