The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
how drunk are you?
Several
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
