Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Randomize
