I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
