Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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