My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
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