My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
