I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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