I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
