why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
My dick has a subreddit
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
