im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
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