How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
