how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
