why didn't you poke me back
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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