a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
